As we sat in the airport on Sunday, no one was in a jovial mood. Leaving Florida after nine days of fun in the sun was difficult. Especially considering all we’ve gone through this past year.
Nine days truly focused on having fun was blissful. No heavy conversations. No suffocating tensions. No worrying about the future other than what rides we would experience the next day. I can’t speak for the kids, but I can tell you that my shoulders felt a lot lighter that week.
I took the picture of Leela above while we were waiting for our flight. I think this image represents how we all were feeling at that moment. But vacations always end and goodbyes are inevitable.
And today I am about to start another goodbye process.
Tomorrow I close on the new house in Maryland.
Saying goodbye to my current home and life isn’t easy. I’ve lived here for over eight years. The fact that I’ve moved around a lot during my life doesn’t really help anything. Once you sleep somewhere for a period of years, moving your bed is not an easy thing.
And I’m definitely a creature of habit. I take comfort in schedules and knowing what comes next. The bus comes at 8:45am. I drink my first cup of coffee at 9am. Work happens between 9-3pm. And then the kids come home and there’s homework, cooking dinner, dishes, some downtime and then the bedtime routine.
That is my life. It’s not particularly exciting, but it is predictable. And for a woman who loves adventure, that might seem odd that I would take comfort in my normal dull life. But I do.
Now I have to start a new routine somewhere else. And as exciting as that is, it’s scary too.
Then there are other concerns…
I have no friends in Maryland. Well, I do have a few blogger friends there, but I don’t know them very well yet. Hopefully that will change.
But that having no friends thing is scary. I’m afraid to be alone in a new place. And I’m certain my kids feel the same way.
You will of course remind me that I’m an extrovert, but that really doesn’t make it any easier. Making new friends is work and I’m not entirely sure I have the energy to put into that kind of relationship building right now. I’m kind of mentally exhausted after the divorce. I’m not sure I have a lot to give right now.
And then there’s the packing up of this house, unpacking at the new house and arranging all that stuff so it feels like a home again.
Just writing that last sentence was exhausting.
But that’s what you do when you say goodbye to one place and hello to another.
It was just SO much easier to do when I was in my 20’s.
There’s so much more I’d like to say in this post, but I cannot. Matter of fact, most of my blog posts have been so surface as of late. Lacking a lot of personal info and a far cry from my normal posting. The reason for this is that I have an agreement with my ex to not write about the divorce anymore. And it’s REALLY hard to write about anything personal when you have that kind of agreement. But it’s what’s best for all parties and I have to honor that.
I can only share onward with you.
So with that, I’m off to pack my suitcase and head down to Maryland to close.
Goodbye Massachusetts, hello Maryland.
Bring on the crab cakes!