I remember when Aidan was a tiny baby and how I would walk around everywhere with him stuck to my chest in a baby carrier. Wherever I went, there he was.
It was attachment parenting before it ever became fashionable.
His favorite place to nap was on my stomach while I was napping as well. Little did I know at the time that this would be called co-sleeping down the road. I guess I was ahead of my time. Or more truthfully, it was the only way I could get some sleep.
And as he got older, that transitioned into rocking him for what felt like hours before I’d gently place him in his crib, which is when he’d always wake up and wail.
That kid had a set of lungs.
When he was around two I decided to Ferberize him. Which basically means, let him cry it out so he would learn to sleep on his own.
The first few nights I did this I would sit outside his door quietly sobbing. It took a full week for him to figure out that I wasn’t coming back in. He did not like the Ferber method one little bit.
Even though he learned to sleep through the night, I will always regret having done that. It just didn’t feel right.
I’m not sure if I appreciated them as much as I could have had I known that three more babies would be coming in the not too distant future.
I don’t think I could’ve loved him any more than I did, because let me tell you, I was quite enamored with this child. Three baby albums full of pics from his first year will attest to that.
But if I only knew how busy my life would become, maybe I would’ve relished those early years with him even more. If that’s even possible. He was a much adored child.
He doesn’t fit in the baby carrier any more. And not only does he sleep through the night, he could sleep until two o’clock in the afternoon if we let him.
But that’s how it goes. Our babies grow up, become adults, and have lives of their own. And that’s a good thing. At least that’s what I keep telling myself over and over again. My mantra for today.