My bedroom looks like Macy’s exploded in it. Dresses hanging on the door, shoes strewn everywhere, jewelry dumped out all over my dresser, panties and bras in a jumbled heap…
It’s a disaster.
I’ve tried on every top, bottom, and dress I own. I’ve put on some outfits multiple times. I’ve turned in circles evaluating my butt, boobs, and waist ad nauseum. I’m sick of my own reflection.
And the reason I’m a clothing psychopath right now is because I’m packing for BlogHer. The biggest conference in the country for people who do what I do. 4,5oo women will be there. That makes me break out in hives just thinking about it.
I’m going to share something with you that I haven’t before in the 3 1/2 years that I’ve been blogging. I don’t particularly like hanging out with women. You are the exception of course because I love you.
But the rest I could pretty much do without.
I know that sounds really bad. But it’s the truth. Sure, I have close women friends, but I’m highly selective of who I hang out with, who I bond with, and who I invest in. Because friends are an investment for sure.
And it’s not because I’m a snob. It’s because women scare me.
More specifically, women bloggers scare me. The drama, the competitiveness, the “do you know who I ams”. It’s a lot.
So, the idea of spending three days with 4,500 of them sort of scares the crap out of me. That’s a lot of estrogen in one hotel.
Luckily for me, I know a lot of people in this business. I also have a lot of people excited to see me since this time last year I couldn’t attend BlogHer because I was fighting for my life and all.
That gives me comfort.
I also know that if I get overwhelmed, I can come back here to my blog, my safe place and share what’s happening with all of you. Because you guys are always here for me. Thank you for that.
I know I seem so strong, but trust me. I don’t always feel like that on the inside. I’m a mighty fine actress.
In some ways I’m really excited. There are all kinds of parties and opportunities to meet some amazing people. Martha Stewart and Katie Couric will be speaking. There will be cocktails and dancing. And of course there will be free stuff. There is always free stuff at blogging conferences.
Interestingly, Eden fantasies is sponsoring an event and will be giving away 5,000 vibrators. So, if you feel the ground shake in a few days, it’s not an earthquake. It’s the Hilton in New York. And thank God they are battery operated because I think the power grid would shut down.
Duracell is missing out on an excellent promotional opportunity. They should be working hand in hand with Eden Fantasies. Pun totally intended.
Besides vibrators, there will be a ton of other products given away with the hope that we will write about them. So, be sure to check in later this week for an awesome giveaway.
Maybe if you’re lucky I’ll score you a vibrator too.
That’s what friends do.
But you’ll have to buy your own batteries. Those things are expensive.
Back to packing, butt examining, and fixing the straps on the push up bras. It’s a mom blogger conference after all. Do you know how many of those women are lactating? I’ve got to do something to make mine competitive.
And talking about making things look better than they are, I’m going to leave you today with this hysterical Spanx post. I dang near wee-weed when I read it.