My bedroom looks like Macy’s exploded in it. Dresses hanging on the door, shoes strewn everywhere, jewelry dumped out all over my dresser, panties and bras in a jumbled heap…
It’s a disaster.
I’ve tried on every top, bottom, and dress I own. I’ve put on some outfits multiple times. I’ve turned in circles evaluating my butt, boobs, and waist ad nauseum. I’m sick of my own reflection.
And the reason I’m a clothing psychopath right now is because I’m packing for BlogHer. The biggest conference in the country for people who do what I do. 4,5oo women will be there. That makes me break out in hives just thinking about it.
I’m going to share something with you that I haven’t before in the 3 1/2 years that I’ve been blogging. I don’t particularly like hanging out with women. You are the exception of course because I love you.
But the rest I could pretty much do without.
I know that sounds really bad. But it’s the truth. Sure, I have close women friends, but I’m highly selective of who I hang out with, who I bond with, and who I invest in. Because friends are an investment for sure.
And it’s not because I’m a snob. It’s because women scare me.
More specifically, women bloggers scare me. The drama, the competitiveness, the “do you know who I ams”. It’s a lot.
So, the idea of spending three days with 4,500 of them sort of scares the crap out of me. That’s a lot of estrogen in one hotel.
Luckily for me, I know a lot of people in this business. I also have a lot of people excited to see me since this time last year I couldn’t attend BlogHer because I was fighting for my life and all.
That gives me comfort.
I also know that if I get overwhelmed, I can come back here to my blog, my safe place and share what’s happening with all of you. Because you guys are always here for me. Thank you for that.
I know I seem so strong, but trust me. I don’t always feel like that on the inside. I’m a mighty fine actress.
In some ways I’m really excited. There are all kinds of parties and opportunities to meet some amazing people. Martha Stewart and Katie Couric will be speaking. There will be cocktails and dancing. And of course there will be free stuff. There is always free stuff at blogging conferences.
Interestingly, Eden fantasies is sponsoring an event and will be giving away 5,000 vibrators. So, if you feel the ground shake in a few days, it’s not an earthquake. It’s the Hilton in New York. And thank God they are battery operated because I think the power grid would shut down.
Duracell is missing out on an excellent promotional opportunity. They should be working hand in hand with Eden Fantasies. Pun totally intended.
Besides vibrators, there will be a ton of other products given away with the hope that we will write about them. So, be sure to check in later this week for an awesome giveaway.
Maybe if you’re lucky I’ll score you a vibrator too.
That’s what friends do.
But you’ll have to buy your own batteries. Those things are expensive.
Back to packing, butt examining, and fixing the straps on the push up bras. It’s a mom blogger conference after all. Do you know how many of those women are lactating? I’ve got to do something to make mine competitive.
And talking about making things look better than they are, I’m going to leave you today with this hysterical Spanx post. I dang near wee-weed when I read it.
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You are going to have a fantastic time! And I’d bet my last dollar that you’ll look beautiful in any outfit you choose to wear. I love how honest you are with your readers and how often I find myself nodding my head in agreement. You really are so much fun to read. I’m not a big fan of hanging out with a lot of women, either and for the very same reason. I think we all can be intimidating even if we don’t know it.
p.s. I’m cracking up about the vibrators. You are too funny!
You are so kind. Thank you. I think a lot of women are intimidated by women. So strange. And free vibrators? Have you seen how much those things cost?
Lactating woman right here!! Of course my tummy sticks out just as far as my boobs so it kind of ruins the effect. Seriously, though, I will miss the girls when they deflate.
I hope to get a few minutes with you. And if I don’t, I’m back in town as soon as BlogHer is over so I hope to see you soon either way.
You can have a bunch of minutes with me. I totally enjoy your company. I’m looking forward to seeing you!
Never fear, Energizer is supposed to be there & will surely keep things humming.
You’re way ahead of me in the wardrobe fretting department – I still need to make a run Lord & Taylor/Nordstrom/Macy’s/DSW, and my only shopping op tomorrow AM just got hijacked by a client that is convinced everything needs to be yesterday.
See ya in NYC!
Humming, bwa ha ha. Snort. I only made one run today and it was for shoes. I bet you’re not surprised. I’ll see you soon!
I hear ya girlfriend! I’m shaking in my boots thinking of all the people I’ll insult because I have no clue who they are..women are a sensitive bunch aren’t we? Just have fun, ..easier said than done.
We ARE a sensitive bunch. I think that’s half of the problem. Or maybe 90% of the problem. Looking forward to seeing you Isra! Safe travels.
You’ve heard me say this a million times, but I don’t really think there’s a lot of “Do you know who I am?” going outward to other people. I think we all have a bad habit of taking other people’s insecure/shy/nervous behavior as judgment. If you walk up to a group of people and they are quiet toward you, is it because they don’t think you’re important? Or is it because they don’t know what to say to you? I think it’s largely the latter. I contend that we’re almost all uncomfortable at a conference with 4,000 women and we’re all coping the best we can. Those of us who are able to let it roll off our backs without being shaken are just able to enjoy the conference more. As for the drama, that’s to be expected at an event that size. I avoid/ignore it and go about my business. I hope that you can embrace the good, ignore the not great, and have a blast. BlogHer is one of my favorite events of the year, despite the fact that massive groups of people stress me out. =}
Oh my dear friend, how very well you know me. I agree with you 90%. I do agree that it’s mostly mindset, but still, I have seen a lot of “do you know who I ams” at these conferences. I’ve been to enough of them. And the thing is, if I didn’t already know who they were, their attitude does not make me want to get to know them any better. But for my own selfish purposes, I’m going with the sole intent to get opportunities for my blog and for my readers. Because that is what’s most important to me in this three ring circus.
I always love reading your posts from the blogging conferences. It looks like so much fun.
Have a blast, I can’t wait to hear all about it!
Jen from Quincy
It is mostly fun. I just have to go in with a warrior mindset. This is not for the faint of heart. Sure, there’s a lot of fluffy fun stuff, but let me assure you that women go to this conference with an agenda. Myself included.
Have fun at your conference. Yes I feel the same as you do with a room full of people, let alone a room full of women you do not know….
I did read the post about the spanx and nearly fell off my chair laughing at it. My girlfriend had the same experience and it was like I was hearing it for the second time.
Love the new format too.
Kris
Natick Ma
When I read “Spanx vagina”, I almost broke a rib. Best. Post. Ever.
Hi Melanie! I am going to be in NYC this weekend too, and I am always struggling with what to pack. I am headed to a trade show for work and I need to look very fashionable, everyone there is dressed in trendy NYC clothing and if I don’t at least try I will feel very frumpy. Good luck to packing (for both of us!) I love NYC though, so I am very much looking forward to this little getaway, even though it will be mostly a working one.
I haven’t had a chance to comment since you made the big switch over but I just wanted to say that I love the new blog and I am LOVING all of your posts lately! I have had something to say about every one just haven’t commented. I love reading your thoughts, we share a lot of the same thoughts about things (working out!) so I am very much enjoying the new blog. Have a great time this weekend!!!!!!!!!!! If I see you running around the city I will try to flag you down and say hello!!!!!!!!!
Stephanie, I want to hug you. Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I’m so relieved that you like the new blog. And yes, NYC rocks. I’m very excited about being there. I’m very comfortable there after visiting so many, many times, and it always makes me feel very alive when I’m there. Have a fabulous time!
If Eden Fantasies was really thinking about it, they’d pair up with the publisher of 50 Shades of Grey and give out copies with their, ahem, samples. Hee hee.
I am going through the packing ritual tonight. Eeeeeeks!!!
Also? I love that Spanx post b/c she referenced me in it. I got soooo much traffic out of it. SWEET!
See you at BlogHer!
good one! LOL
I saw that! You lucky woman! Great plug for you! Let’s be sure to meet up and get a drink or two. I’m going to need one.
Safe travels!
I’m so happy you will be attending the conference this year! I know you were pretty bummed about not being able to go last year…that jerk driver! Hmph!
I hope you have a FABULOUS time, I love to read of your adventures!!
p.s…
Don’t let women scare you, they act like snobs because they are intimidated by YOU! And they should….you have ALOT going for you! ;0)
Sonya- You have been a ray of sunshine in my life ever since you started reading my blog. I sure hope to get to meet you someday. I will toast you while in NYC. xoxo
I hope you have a wonderful time! I am so jealous I could not go. Martha Stewart and Katie Couric…two very influential women….how exciting!!!!! Looking forward to your posts!
Thank you! And I’m excited to share the experience with you!
let me tell you a little secret – every other lady there, and I do mean EVERY OTHER LADY (okay, maybe not The Martha) is having the same insecurities you are. Worried about how they look. Comparing themselves to everyone else. They are so NOT judging you. In fact, most women believe they look much worse than everyone else believes they look. (There are some exceptions out there (People of Walmart, I’m lookin’ at you), but you get my point.) Relax. You’ll look fabulous. Remember – no one even noticed your mismatched shoes! That’s how inward we focus instead of outward. So breathe. Relax. Go have a great time. Catch up with your friends, make some new friends. Find someone else as freaked out as you are and spend the night laughing. And see how many of those toys you can nab for us. : )
Thank you for that. I know you’re right. I just need to keep reminding myself of that while I’m there. And I’m sure there will be plenty of freaked out people. There always is, lol.
You are too funny! I just love your writing style! Have a wonderful time and maybe I can be there next year.
Thank you! It is so worth going, Even with all of the drama. So many incredible opportunities!
I have never been to Blogher, but I know how you feel about attending blogging events. Every time I have seen you at a local event, you look gorgeous! Have a great time in NYC!
Thank you Jane! You always look fabulous too.
I agree Mel. I am nervous to be in a room with all those women as well. I know what my site is, I know what I want, but I am horrible at being judged. I (like most women) do not like being criticized. To me, conferences like this are like High School. You have all the different groups. I always classified myself as being the middle child in High School. I was not the most popular, but I wasn’t the one everyone made fun of either. I am comfortable with that. When I go to BlogHer, I am going to do what I feel comfortable with, talk to who I feel comfortable with, and just try to have a good time. If I get recognized (which might be difficult because everyone knows my site as the dog in the bathtub) then I will be giddy!! If I don’t get recognized, that is fine too. I hope to see you there!!!
Lol, well my old Twitter avatar was my thighs in the air with a pair of scissors, so you are in good company. Lol! It is much like high school. I just need to remember why I’m there and focus on that. Have a great time!
OH.MY.GOD.
THis is my first BlogHer and I have clothes everywhere!!!! It looks like my closet threw up all over my room. My neighbor and I are Thelma and Louise-ing it down to NY together and we’re just hoping all our bags fit in her hub’s small car!!! I need serious help.
I really hope to bump into you—look for the dazed and confused muffin top.
Safe travels!
Well, I hope you aren’t totally Thelma and Lousieing it. Otherwise it won’t end well for you and we won’t see you. Looking forward to meeting you. Travel safe!
Melanie,
I understand the type of woman you describe. If you feel stuck with one and is getting you down, make some excuse to excuse yourself (your phone is on vibrate and you felt it and must get it- not to be confused with the vibrators you mentioned-hee hee). If one of these woman get you down, look at a photo of your family that you bring with you to bring you back. Just FOCUS on the freebies (I’d be shaking out of excitement), products and “real” women who really want to meet you and talk to you. Don’t worry so much about the clothes. Whatever you pick out, you’ll look beautiful. I’m sure your smile alone with capture everyone. ps. spanx post was hillarios- go get ‘em Melanie. : )
Have a wonderful time!
Thank you Michelle! Good point on the vibrating phone. That’s always a good excuse. And the freebies are fun, if not a tad bit excessive. Can you believe I just said that? I must be ill.
It’s my first time going and I think it is going to be fun! I just think of it as a trade show, which it is: a trade show for mom bloggers. And like any trade show, it’s a scene. People posturing, selling, glad handing. But it pays to go to trade shows (either if you are an exhibitor or an attendee) with a plan. There’s probably only a few people you really want and need to meet. There is probably just a few goals you want to tend to. The rest is gravy. At any trade show, the more you go, the more people you will know. First timers like me will find that NO ONE will look familiar. That’s ok. I am there to learn. HTML, vlogging, the ropes in general. I want to meet a few sponsors that match up well with me. That’s just a small handful that I can count on one hand. And I hope to meet some nice bloggers too!
This was a great post to read for us first-timers. All of this talk of exploding clothes and closets makes me a little afeard to go near mine! I’ll look for your smile if you look for mine. (Just look for the perma-grin standing next to the muffin top.)
I can see you trying things on and discarding them behind you in a maelstrom of packing frenzy! Remember, people only put other people down to feel good about themselves. It is their low self esteem being exhibited that causes them to push other’s down to try and elevate themselves. Hang out with people like you who examine their foibles and laugh about them with their friends and even their readers. You are so honest and real Melanie. Stay in that mode and reach out to all those that follow you and love your writing style and personality. Wish I was going and could meet you face to face, sigh, maybe next year! Have a great time and I truly hope you snag as many of those Eden Fantasy devices as you can! Snort!