There’s a tremendous amount of talk in the blogosphere and mainstream media about the offensive Mom Jeans. There are complete posts, photos and all, devoted to warning women about the fashion flub so many have fallen victim to.
I myself was pretty oblivious to the Mom Jeans hype until someone accused the President of being a violator himself. That’s when I started doing a little research on what the hullabaloo was all about.
And more importantly, did I have a pair of the much despised denim hanging in my closet?
After a little research I found out that Mom Jeans are bad for your mental health, and if you are wearing Old Navy or Gap jeans, you’re apparently one of the greatest offenders.
And guess what’s hanging in my closet? Oh yeah, about eight pairs of Gap Long and Lean jeans. Clearly I’m a habitual offender.
So, what makes jeans Mom Jeans? High waists and long back pockets.
Let’s first start with the waist issue. I want a higher waist. When I’m bending over to grab a sack of sugar off the shelves at Shaw’s, the last thing I want is to give the rest of the shoppers a peep show of my bum crack.
Sorry to be so graphic, but it’s true. No one needs to see that. I avoid it at all costs myself.
Also, no one needs to see my midriff. The last one who got a good look was my obstetrician, who might have also been the last one to see my bum crack. And I’m totally fine with that.
But the greatest offense is apparently the pockets. If the pocket goes past your bum cheek, you are wearing Mom Jeans. Ok, so this is a huge issue for me.
My butt has never ever looked like Shakira’s. It’s always been sort of pancakeish and where my bum cheek ends remains a mystery to this day.
So, all back pockets on jeans I wear will most likely hang below my bum cheek. Horrors.
The evidence and pictures presented convicts me of being a Mom Jeans offender.
Here’s the thing….
It’s crap. All of it. The high waist, the long pockets, the momness of it all. Crap. Crap. Crap.
I’m 42 years old. When I was in college we didn’t have hip huggers. High waists were the in thing. And guess what? I didn’t want for dates.
I didn’t sit in my dorm on a Friday night because I was wearing Mom Jeans, gnashing my teeth and praying for the day that low-rise jeans would come into style.
On the contrary, I was shaking those long pockets and past the navel waistline jeans on the dance floor at my local campus club.
I even went on to snag a husband, get pregnant multiple times, all while wearing the non-sexy Mom Jeans.
Here’s the thing I don’t understand…
The term Mom Jeans. When did it become offensive to look like a mom? I’m a mom of four and I don’t feel that I have to give up my sexuality to carry that title. Moms can be sexy too.
The jeans are not what makes you sexy. The jeans don’t define you. You define you.
So, if you have a closet full of Mom Jeans and you feel sexy while wearing them, rock on you sexy thing. Own it. Because it’s you that makes you sexy. Your smile. Your laugh. The sparkle in your eyes. You make you sexy. No jean can take that away from you.
And for those of you who wear the low rise, hip hugging, midriff bearing, bum crack showing non-Mom Jeans, you too can rock on with your sexy selves. I’m all for you wearing what makes you feel your best!
I’m just here to tell you that you don’t have to feel blue when wearing your blues. Even if your back pocket hangs below your bum.