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Wait, I’m Not Done With You Yet

This is Aidan’s senior year. A year filled with all kinds of activities. Most of them prohibitively expensive, but he doesn’t seem too worried. This makes total sense since he isn’t paying for any of it. Funny how that works.

My girlfriend Judy shot Aidan’s senior photos and I tagged along to watch her in action. She’s really good and I hoped to get a few pointers.

But as I watched the photo session, I got a yucky feeling in my tummy. It hit me that this is it. This is his last year at home. My son is about to fly the coop.

And I couldn’t help but panic a bit…

I’m not done with him yet. I feel like there is so much more he needs to know. There are things I’ve missed. That I’m sure of.

Sure, he’s got the basics down for the most part…

Sit up at the table and eat with your mouth closed. Hold the door for the elderly, women and anyone who looks like they could use a hand. Be kind. Eat your veggies. Don’t text/drink when driving. Pick a girl your Mama will like.

Ok, so maybe not that last one. That’s most likely wishful thinking.

He has a good foundation, but I can’t help but stress over what I missed. I’m not exactly sure I know what that is, but I KNOW that I missed some things.

I’m just not ready for him to launch quite yet. But I don’t think this rocket is going to wait for my permission to take off. I just hope I gave him enough fuel for the journey.

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Comments

  1. You did, I’m pretty sure. It seems like we spend their whole lives preparing for them to grow up, but damn when they do…..it’s tough. Still adjusting on the west coast, year 2 of college, every day I thank the Lord that mine is doing well and is happy. Then I pray for a little more strength to make it to the next visit with grace.

    Keep breathing & keep praying!

  2. You are right to worry but then you really shouldn’t! You have raised him and instilled values and morals in him and given him the opportunity to learn, grow and mature. Now look at him! 18, senior in high school and just about ready to fly the coop in a few months. You can’t plan for everything or we would never let them out of the house. You have to trust in your investment in their upbringing and then just pray as you push them out of the nest and see if they can fly. I am sure your son will soar eventually, give him time to find his wings and flex them as he sees fit. Mine are all out of the house and I still worry about them, so that part is quite normal!

    • Yes, I suppose you’re right. I just worry. A lot. This is my first one to leave the nest. I wonder if it gets easier with each kid that leaves. If not, just lie to me and say it is.

  3. OMG, I almost cried thinking about the day when my boys flew the coop. If they are independent,kind, and resourcful, you did a good job. Both of my boys also found life partners that I adore. Both these girls are also a little like me. One is zany like me and the other is into canning and gardening like me. That one is kind of quiet though, but then when Jake was little he did say that he didn’t want a girl like his Mom because she was too noisy. (Never ask a son if he wants to find a girl just like his mother; you might not like the answer.)
    You did a good job, he’ll be fine and you’ll visit him.

    • That is so awesome that you adore their choice in partners. That is one of my biggest concerns. I don’t need him to marry someone like me. God forbid, one of me on this planet is enough. I’d just like him to be with someone I can relate to. Sounds like your kids did a fine job with that!

  4. I feel exactly the same way. My oldest daughter is a junior in high school! I can’t believe it!!!

    • It seems to me that the high school years go by faster than any other. I hope you navigate through this better than me, ,lol.

  5. My son is a junior this year. Things change a little at a time. Learners permit, part time job, drivers license everthing in little steps. I think this is Gods way of easing us into the changes to come. Its still not easy. We are talking about college now. I hope I have done all the things that he needs to know out there in the world. But there are still so much to learn. We just need to pray for each and every one of them.

    • Yes, I think that’s part of the problem. Last year Aidan should’ve had his permit and a part time job. But because of the accident, none of that happened. Now, this year, we are cramming everything in that should’ve been done over the span of two years. I think that’s part of my anxiety. The fast forwardness of it all. And you’re right, there is just so much to learn. How does one teach everything there is to know about life?

  6. I’m right there with you, Malanie. Our son is a senior and I sat looking at his Sr. Pictures through tears. Did I do enough? Did I do too much? What did I forget? Sheesh!

  7. Sevenchickadees says:

    Ok, so mine haven’t left home yet. But they should have. I am trying to kick them to the door, but they seem to like it here. The oldest is 21, the next one 19. They are both working full time jobs. We felt the same way. But with added pressure because I homeschooled them. We have gotten so much good feedback from outside sources (not our friends/relatives) about both of these children. They are independent. Secure in who they are. They can work without being supervised. They are trustworthy, kind and dependable. Our son’s boss mentioned to us that he would be successful in whatever he chooses to do in life. What a comforting thing to hear from a stranger! Our daughter is trying to buy a house (at 21!)
    The boy has a girlfriend who is a lovely Christian girl. Our daughter is unattached so far. Her boss is playing matchmaker amongst the NFL players they know, ha!
    Just love them while you can. You have done a wonderful job, Mel. He will change tremendously in the next few years, becoming a man. Then you can ponder in your heart how THAT happened!
    I am still surprised when I expect that it’s hubby walking down the hall, but it’s my 13 year old, also changing into a full grown human!

    XOXO friend,
    Nada

  8. Wow, a child about to leave home is a big transition for everyone especially parents but it does sound like you’ve done a great job preparing him for the real world! I especially love how you’ve taught him to open doors — such a great old fashioned courtesy that kids do less and less! I LOVE it when boys are taught this!

  9. My son’s only 3 and I can’t imagine those days… Hugs Melanie!!

  10. DOROTHY FISHER says:

    These were my exact thoughts when he left for The Marine Corp on Spetember 9 of this year. They grow so fast and you wonder did I teach them everything and did I do a good job. Most of all you wonder where did all those 18 years go?

  11. I dropped my son of in Arizona for college and then cried the ENTIRE 2500 mile plane ride home. He is in a good place and (hopefully) doing and learning a lot. It is VERY hard to let go… my brain knows he’s moving on and growing into a young man, but my heart still wants to play Thomas the Tank with him under the kitchen table. ABSOLUTELY crazy how fast that time went!

    Enjoy this senior year with him. You will be at graduation before you know it. I wish you the best on this journey. It is hard, but so worthwhile!!

  12. Senior year can be very stressful. If he is applying to colleges, get on that common app pronto. It’s a long application to go through and my two found that they did a little, saved it and went back several times before they hit “send.” I thought the high school years flew with my oldest. Now she’s a senior in college and let me tell you, the college years are faster! All we can do is hope and pray we gave them a strong foundation in the years they were in our homes. Before my two went off to college I told them, “with independence comes responsibility, be smart, be safe.” As someone else said, enjoy the year with him, because before you know it graduation will be here!

  13. Wow, I almost had a panic attack just reading this. I only have a few years before my oldest child is ready as well, and this made my heart race knowing I’m not done yet…teaching, preaching, telling, yelling, and the like. There is one line from a song though that I seem to say when I start worrying (or panicking) over what I may forget to let them know…”All the wisdom of a lifetime, no one can ever tell.” Rod Stewart, Forever Young. This is sort of my song to my son. I can’t listen to it without crying and it really seems to fit what part of this journey of life you are at now. (And Butterfly Kisses and Little Star to my daughter.) It’s what we must do as parents, regardless of how bad it makes our hearts hurt, so I’m told. Whoever said life isn’t easy sure was right.

  14. Right there with you and your emotions! We did senior pictures last month (we have 3 kids, but my boy is the oldest so this is all new for me) I was great and having fun until photographer started taking pictures with him and his new truck. You see, when he was 15 1/2, he bought his first vehicle. A little red S-10 pickup. He was so proud he paid for it on his own, he made me take him in the back field, leaned up against it proudly and had me take his picture. That’s been my computer background picture for 2 years. This July, after working for the past two years, he bought a new red full size truck. So he wanted that in his senior pictures. The photographer had him park it by a corn field, lean up against it and took his picture. My eyes welled up to see how much he has grown, not just in size but in maturity by working and being able to purchase that.
    Ugh, I’m sure there will be many tears this year! The younger too go to private school, so tonight is probably the last homecoming football game I will watch my child play marching band at. I hope I can hold it together!

  15. *sniff* my son is a senior, also. I feel the same way!

  16. I know what you mean, time sure does fly by. My only child-daughter started High School this month. I keep thinking its only 4 more years till she leaves & goes to college. I try to enjoy my time with her now all I can. This summer she was gone for 2 separate weeks (girls camp & vacation with a friends family) & I missed her alot. We want our children to be independent, but I don’t think many things prepare us for when they move away. Enjoy your fall, it’s my favorite season.

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