The world has gone elf crazy. The Elf On The Shelf. Have you heard of it? For that one solitary reader who hasn’t heard of it, let me fill you in….
There’s a long winded official story, but I’m going to give you my take on what this is all about…
Santa stuffs a bunch of his elves into boxes which he sends to Target, Toys R Us and Amazon where they will hopefully be bought for around $29.95 unless you were lucky enough to find them cheaper on black Friday.
Parents who aren’t already stressed out and over burdened enough will purchase these elves so that they can hide them in fantastical places all over their home.
Those same parents will take photos of their elf staging ingenuity and plaster it all over Facebook so that the rest of us can feel like bad parents for:
Not being as creative
Forgetting to move the elf around
Not being a part of the elf madness to begin with
Once home and planted somewhere so amazing that you will have to share this with everyone on every social media platform you hang out on (if you need inspiration there are whole Pinterest boards dedicated to this), the elf will sit there and watch your children. (Have you seen the elf’s eyes? Shudder)
And at night while the kids sleep, the elf uses his magical powers to fly back to the North Pole and tell Santa whether or not Johnny or Sally were well behaved that day.
When the kids wake up the next morning, the elf will be in a clever new location if and only if their parents are the creative types.
Helpful Hint, if you’re not creative, just copy your Facebook friend’s elf statuses. The kids will never know.
Now, I know I’m putting myself in a vulnerable place bashing on this wildly popular relatively new holiday tradition. Much like the political realm, our country is divided on the elf. The pro-elves and anti-elves look at each other much the same way that democrats and republicans do.
But for me and my sanity I just say no to the elf. I’ll be honest with you, I have a hard time remembering to put money under the pillow when the kids lose a tooth. I often times have to say that the fairy broke a wing and that the gift is downstairs on the kitchen island. With that, I run down the stairs at lightning speed, rummage through my purse and throw a few dollars on the counter.
Our tooth fairy is very accident prone as she has broken her wings more times than I can count. With four kids, a fairy’s wing density can be greatly compromised, I’ve explained to the kids over the years. We have to be patient with the old gal.
Not to mention, the holidays are busy enough with all of the gift buying, cookie baking, tree decorating, holiday card sending, gingerbread house baking and all the other little things that make the holidays, er, well, stressful!
I don’t need an elf to make me feel even more pressured and stressed out. I’m already there. I have a hard enough time remembering if I shut the garage door at night let alone worry about moving an elf to a new location.
And I have a brilliant idea while I’m thinking about it. How about I just expect my kids to behave without the watchful eyes of an elf? How about they just behave because I tell them to? But I guess that’s just me being old fashioned.
I know that at least half of you are pro-elf. So, don’t be offended. I’m actually pro-choice elf. Everyone can choose for themselves if they will partake in the elf tradition. But for me, I’ll remain elf abstinent.
How about you? Are you pro-elf? Are you happy you started the tradition? Or are you like me and already have enough on your cookie plate this holiday season?