Did you think I died? My lack of posting would make you think so. On the contrary, I am alive and kicking. And it appears that I will be for some time to come.
I got my test results and I don’t have cancer. And now that I can breathe again, I’ll tell you what happened…
I shared with you that it had been years since I had gone to the gynecologist. It’s one of my “things”. Much like flying, having someone inspect that area of my body freaks me the hell out. So I avoided having the exam for as long as my mind would let me get away with it.
But one can only avoid things for so long and my mind started telling me that I was going to die from some type of cancer if I didn’t get everything checked out. So one fear canceled out the other and I did indeed go.
And while I tested negative in the areas that I sort of anticipated getting positives, they found something that I wasn’t prepared for. The possibility of ovarian cancer.
During the exam they discovered that my uterus was enlarged and that I had a growth on my ovary. And not a regular growth either. Something that looked suspect to my doctor which necessitated tests.
The thing that sucked about the tests was the waiting period. In total I had to wait eight weeks to find out that I’m ok. And that’s a lot for a neurotic woman like myself.
Eight weeks to plan out my funeral down to what dress and heels I wanted my family to bury me in.
Eight weeks to plan out how I would cram in another twenty years of mothering into weeks.
Eight weeks to make every single person in my life miserable by having them assure me that they will flat iron my hair before the viewing, promise to keep up my domain so that my kids have something tangible from me to look at in the years to come and making everyone swear they won’t sell off my Pyrex.
I would totally haunt them if they did that.
So basically I made everyone wish for my demise by making them crazy too.
Waiting is so very hard. Especially when most of the hold ups are due to scheduling. I think that if it wasn’t for juggling appointments, we could’ve had this whole thing resolved in a month instead of two.
But as I stated in the beginning of this post, I’m cancer free. I’ll have to commit to going in for regular check-ups now that I know that this has to be watched. And that’s certainly one way to get me to comply. Scare the hell out of me.
So if you are anything like me and you are avoiding the gynecologist because it scares you, let me tell you… the alternative is scarier. Just because you avoid thinking about that area of your body does not stop anything from growing in there.
Matter of fact, most of those types of cancers will grow with very few signs. And if you put it off too long, you just might wipe out your chances of battling it.
So don’t avoid it. Go. If I can do it, so can you. I’m the biggest baby of them all.
A very heartfelt thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and sending positive thoughts. Clearly it worked. And I feel very blessed to have you all on my side. Thank you. Thank you.