After Friday’s sort of downer post, ok totally downer post, I thought I’d check back in with you to assure you that I didn’t toss my body into the Cape Cod Canal.
No, I’m trying very hard to stay positive and do the things that make me feel stronger. Or at the very least do the things that make me feel better.
So, even though the sky was rumbling and the rain was tumblin’ down this morning, I still went out for my run. Well, it was part run and part walk. After having my lady bits scrambled, I wasn’t feeling up to sprinting.
Instead, I did an easy jog while listening to my favorite songs.
Lately that’s been the Dropkick Murphys because they’re pretty badass. I love the mix of hard rock and Irish reel. It makes me move faster. And did I tell you that I’m going to Ireland in October? Yup. Something to look forward to for sure.
I just need to get onboard with that beer thing because I really don’t like it. Although I’m learning to enjoy hard ciders which is a step in the right direction. I’ll wait until Ireland to try my first Guinness. Shudder.
Oh, and something about running in the rain…
We all know that wearing white in the rain is pretty much like entering a wet t-shirt contest. Well, I’m here to tell you that wearing pink isn’t much better. Stick to black on rainy days. Learn from my mistakes.
But back to that beer thing, I wish I loved it like most people. That whole craft beer movement speaks to my foodie soul. I feel like I’m missing out on something.
But you know me. I’m a wine girl. Speaking of which, when I buy wine I usually stick with what I call spaghetti and meatballs wine. That means a bottle of wine that’s $9.99 or less that I can justify buying any day of the week.
The more expensive stuff is saved for company. That’s usually the case anyway. Today I bought a bottle of $15.99 Rodney Strong because I like it. And I figure I deserve it after being probed in the most ungodly of ways on Friday.
Whatever it takes, ya know? At this point I need to search out whatever it takes to make me stable. Not that I’m advocating drinking an entire bottle of wine to drown my sorrows. But two glasses of the good stuff never hurt anyone.
When I was on the canal earlier, I got to my halfway point which is 2.5 miles into my route. And at that point the rain really started to come down hard. I was on the jetty. My hair was a mess of wet ringlets clinging to my face. The wind was whipping around me. And people were scurrying for shelter.
As I stood on the rocks alone, probably looking like a hot mess, I turned my palms up to the sky and let the rain wash over my fingers. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. Tasting the salty ocean water that was misting around me as the waves crashed over the rocks.
And a peace came over me. For that moment I felt that it was going to be ok. No matter what the outcome. Now trust me, I know that peace is fleeting. We humans have a way of twisting things around in our minds until we work ourselves up into a froth. But for that moment I felt calm.
Which means two things. One, I need to spend more time in a quiet place. And for me that means by the ocean. That’s where I tend to find peace.
Also, I need to be brave. Being brave is a choice. It isn’t something that’s necessarily part of our personalities. We can all be brave if we choose to. Or we can choose to let ourselves get lost in the doubt that fills our minds. It’s our decision to make.
Tonight I want to share a song that I’ve been listening to over and over again. Brave by Sara Bareilles. It’s a beautiful song that speaks to me right about now. If you aren’t feeling so brave about something in your life, maybe this will empower you. But remember, being brave is a choice…
Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is