I’m just days away from starting my new job. When asked by a close friend if I’m excited or nervous about my first day, my response was excited with a side of petrified. Which I guess is normal. Starting a new job is a major stressor for anyone. And in my case after being a work at home mom for the past twenty years, I’m especially anxious.
What am I most anxious about? I’m not even sure.
I’ve combed through my closet about a zillion times trying to decide on the perfect first day of work outfit. In the end I settled on a pink tweed skirt, fitted black turtle neck with tights and riding boots. I’ll probably be over dressed, but I’d rather look a little too professional than not professional enough on that first day.
I’ve mapquested every possible commuter route just in case there’s some crazy traffic glitch that could trip me up on my first day of getting to work. And I kid you not, I have routes via train, bus and boat at the ready. My normal route will include a ferry ride which is pretty cool. Not so cool in March when the winds cut to the bone, but definitely lovely during summer when the weather is less angry. One of the benefits of commuting in a coastal area.
My calendar has everything neatly laid out with important dates highlighted. And after syncing my calendar with the school calendar my head is spinning with all of the inservice half days the kids have. Is it just me or did we not have those when we were kids? Good grief there are a lot of half days. That will certainly be one of my bigger challenges this year. I’m starting to have a profound respect for moms who work out of the home. It’s like playing calendar Tetris.
Even though I think I’ve figured mostly everything out, I’m still feeling anxious. I guess part of it is the fear of the unknown. What exactly am I going to do? Sure, I have a list of responsibilities, but what will my day look like? Will it take me days to settle in or will it feel comfortable from the start? Will I make friends quickly? Will someone join me for lunch? Silly things to worry about for sure, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about them.
But mostly I’m excited.
Excited and profoundly thankful to work at the agency I admire the most here in Boston. It feels like a dream come true. I know that sounds corny, but I can’t even express how thankful I am for this opportunity.
And now it just hit me. The thing that I’m most worried about. I’ve been staring at my laptop screen for the past half hour trying to figure out how to wrap up this post. And as I’ve stared at the screen, I’ve realized what my biggest issue is…
Because I’ve walked into my dream job, I feel like I need to give this company 150% of me. That I need to give them some serious ROI for giving me this amazing opportunity. This job that I’ve been working towards for years now.
And I don’t want to let them down.
I’m probably worrying too much. Maybe I should go back to obsessing over my outfit. Or maybe I should check the weather for next week and see if my boat has the possibility of capsizing.
If my new job was Manager of Worrying, I’d be well on my way to a promotion.